I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “healing isn’t linear.” And you don’t necessarily realize it until you’ve experienced a detour in your journey.
Even after putting months or years into growing for the better.
It’s like one day you’re minding your business, then BOOM! You’re triggered, something transpires, or maybe you’re reminded of the past.
And all the ways you healed slip through your fingertips as you try to get a grip of what’s going on.
Maybe you feel shame. Or like you’re going backwards. Maybe you’re applying all the coping mechanisms you’ve learned. Or try to exercise, meditate, talk it away—but it persists.
You think “what happened to the healing, I’ve done?” Or “wow, I’m not where I thought I was.”
And it takes a hit to your ego, because you are supposed to be further along. Doing much better than that.
Maybe you crumble a little on the inside, or maybe it’s an unbearable spiral.
Healing is unpredictable and confusing in that way.
If I had to describe healing, it’d probably be like drawing from a 3-year-old. Basically—it’s all over the place. Messy, beautiful, and complicated.
The thing is, your mind can often play tricks on you, making you think you’ve regressed. But honey, that’s the furthest thing from the truth.
Even if it’s a slight change in behavior, such as not acting impulsively when you’re triggered—that’s a sign you’ve progressed. Or if you reach out when you’re hurting instead of harboring those feelings—you’re on the right path.
Shoot, if you are actively working on yourself—YOU ARE HEALING.
Doesn’t matter if old familiar emotions come up. Doesn’t matter if you have similar urges. And it doesn’t mean you aren’t healing if you repeat the same mistakes.
What matters is your persistence and mindset. But it doesn’t happen overnight or even with years of practice.
It happens randomly, but when you’re consistent and intentional.
People are supposed to feel different emotions.
And on top of that, we have so many factors working against us that make our healing journey strenuous.
Chemical imbalances. The food we eat. Hormonal issues. Gut health. Trauma. Vitamin deficiencies. And more.
So, as you get to know yourself and your body, you will continue to heal.
Be gentle with yourself.
Take the right steps and you’ll see progress. Sometimes you have to use different modalities to heal yourself holistically.
If you don’t know where to start, these are a few suggestions:
I’m an advocate for therapy because it can help you get to the root of your trauma. You’d be surprised at how many things you’ve normalized that were actually not ok.
I’m not saying you’ll pick a therapist and everything will be seamless. But vetting different therapist and finding someone you connect with, will help you feel comfortable.
I’ve seen over 7 therapists, so don’t get discouraged if the first one doesn’t work out. It’s sort of like dating and finding the right match.
Set a bedtime for yourself and honor it every night by creating a routine that allows you to unwind. What I’ve done is set my phone to DND every night at 9. This is a signal that it’s almost time for bed so I can begin my nightly routine.
But not even just rest as in sleep, also take breaks when necessary.
You are hindering your progress if you don’t make time for stillness. Being productive all the time just suppresses trauma even more.
What’s helped for me is doing work in time blocks. 30-60 minutes of uninterrupted work, then resting for 10 mins.
Eat more whole foods
The food we eat can affect our moods more than we know. Whether it’s caffeine triggering restlessness or anxiety. Or sugar making you cranky. And even alcohol intensifying depression.
I noticed a difference in my mood when I switched to a more plant-based diet.
Sometimes eliminating foods or substances can make all the difference in your mental health + healing journey.
You cannot control how people treat you, but you can set boundaries and walk away when you’re not being treated the how you deserve.
Part of healing is surrendering to the unknown and focus on what you can do for yourself in these moments. How you can show up + nurture yourself when things are out of your control.
You are always in control of yourself and that, my friends, is powerful.
Take a holistic approach
Yes, going to therapy helps tremendously. So does talking to God or a higher power you believe in. But what I’ve learned in my journey is it takes multiple ways to heal yourself.
Healing is anything but easy.
What I also know is you have the tools to get you through this. You can heal yourself, even on the days where it feels like you’ve hit a plateau.
What are some healing modalities you’ve tried? Share it in the comments.